Why You Need To Focus On Yourself
At 24 I’ve finally learnt what it means to become an adult, what it means to lose friends, and what it means to be “successful”. It’s crazy to think how far I’ve come from the young teen desperate to fit in with my peers in high school. I spent so long trying to please everyone else that I forgot to please myself and make myself happy. I lost opportunities out of stupidity and I let toxic people sway me away from the path towards my goals. But I pulled through and I’ve let go. In my eyes, I’ve won… because I am finally happy and found where I need to be. Here’s why you need to focus on yourself.
1. SOME PEOPLE ARE ONLY TEMPORARY
As hard as it may seem and as hard as it is to let go… some people were only meant to be in your life temporary. You’ll see the true friends through the temporary ones as you grow old, find love, become busy with life and eventually start a family. The ones who are true will be there for you, supporting you in absolutely any positive aspect in your life and never doubting you. They will not drag you down, create negative scenarios in your life nor sway you from your dreams and or goals. True friends know that you need to work hard for your success and will not jeopardize that or be upset if you’re not able to hangout every weekend. They cheer you on and offer help when appropriate.
2. PEOPLE WILL TALK NEGATIVELY NO MATTER WHAT
There is no point in caring about the opinions of others. If they don’t know you personally, they don’t know you. End of story. We all have rumours about us, people trying to bring you down and people hoping you will fail. Thats how life works. You need to block out what anyone says and not try to prove people wrong. Focus on yourself, enjoy life and strive to move forward always. Work in silence and your success will speak. Most people that heard negative things about me and made judgments prior to meeting me now hear my name and go “omg I love her!”. Actions speak louder than words so just keep doing you boo and the true ones will know who you are inside.
3. SCHOOL ALWAYS DOES COME FIRST
I think people forget how lucky we are to have an education. It’s not something to take for granted. Being intelligent is such a blessing and an admirable trait in someone. Always stay organized and up to date with your classes. Plan ahead and strive for better education. It’s very competitive now a days with grad school and if you want to land your dream career you better prioritize your studies. Going out drinking with your friends every weekend should not overtake your schooling. Learn to balance and your true friends will be there for you even if you can only go out with them twice a month because your studies are intense. Think about who’s going to be there for you when you’re upset because all your applications have been declined… Know what’s more important.
4. DATE SOMEONE WHO MOTIVATES YOU
If you’re going to be in a relationship, make sure the person you are with motivates and inspires you everyday. If you’re not becoming a better person from your relationship, it may not be the best relationship to be in. Becoming one with someone means flourishing and learning from one another. If you’re slowly going backwards in life and always experiencing negative situations… maybe look at the person you’re sharing your life with. You should be with someone who motivates you to chase your dreams and supports you along the way, doing anything they can to be there for you and vice versa.
5. SUCCESS IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
I grew up thinking that to be “successful” you have to be a doctor, lawyer or engineer because they make the big bucks. That’s what I was taught. It is an awful mindset. Although those are all AMAZING careers, they aren’t for everyone. You don’t need to make crazy money to be happy.. I am a waitress now and am extremely happy… imagine that. We are all meant to do something. You need to find something you are passionate about and something you love. I know people argue because not all “passions” pay living wage (I know, I have many passions I’d love to do for a living but I would probably have to live with my parents my whole life) but there are many options out there that do provide a good living. I finally found through soul searching what I want to do even though it was a huge “career change” for me but I will pursue it and I have all the support I need from the people who matter the most.
6. DONT LET PEOPLE USE YOU
Unfortunately, people use people. People are greedy and if they see someone vulnerable, they take advantage of them. Don’t be vulnerable and don’t put yourself out there on the line. Show confidence and don’t rely on others and most people looking to just use someone will steer away from you. You are an incredible human being and technically don’t need anybody. Be independent, be strong and until you find that special someone, don’t go trying to rely on others to make you happy. You will only end up disappointed that way.
7. BE YOUR TRUE SELF
If you fake who you are to please others, you’ll only create toxic feelings inside. You are you for a reason. You WILL find someone who enjoys all that there is about you. If you feel the need to negatively change for the people around you, those are “temporary” people and not the people you should be around. Let your true personality shine through and people will admire you for it. You never know who may be looking up to you.
Wake up each day and remember all your amazing traits, who you are, what you want out of YOUR life and NO ONE else will matter.